Thursday, July 30, 2009

Soriano dating daan church of god?

anyone have other objections on his group?



anyone have anything good to say about his group?



popular for their supposed wise reading of the bible, i've been active in studying their doctrines and teachings and have attended their big gathering here in philippines at pampanga.



one of their doctrines is about hair. this teaching is actually refutable. 1 corinthians 11. but thats not my main concern since i dont really care what they do to their hair.



http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/h...



what concerns me is their attitude towards others.



well



1. the issue of "holier than thou"



2. their way of reading the bible, jumping around unrelated verses and piecing them together.



i remember they used one book of the bible and took a verse and said



"this is the cause"



then went to another book and said "this is the consequence"



while both of those verses have been taken out of context and yes the cause and effect could be found within the book



Soriano dating daan church of god?

When the base is eroding fast in the west, some are trying to protect Christianity by such personal cults.



Soriano dating daan church of god?

It wouldn't be the first time a person chose privately interpreting scripture. It wouldn't be the first time a christian had a holier than thou art attitude. It wouldn't be the first time a verse in the bible was taken out of context.



Soriano dating daan church of god?

I am a member of this group you call ang dating daan. I am a woman and I know that the doctrines Bro. Eli is teaching are true because they are read directly from the bible.



I do keep my hair long because it was written.



1 Corinthians 11:15



But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.



1. We do not claim we are holier than anyone else, only there are those who do not obey the gospel like us.



Romans 10:16



But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?



2. The verses are read in different parts of the scriptures because the way to interpret the bible rightfully is to seek its meaning in the bible too.



Isaiah 34:16



Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them.



Soriano dating daan church of god?

I think it all comes down to what an individual needs to hear/feel. While I despise a "holier than thou" attitude, a closer look at those individuals reveals great fear and greater sadness. If one feels the need to be above others, then it begs the question: What is it that makes you feel anything other than even with a person?



I unfortunately have no input regarding hair...it was never taught to me as an integral part of faith.

(((((((((((((((((((((Which of the following is false???))))))))))))))))))))))...

Every day 20 banks are robbed



Most lipstick contains fish scales



Cat urine glows under a black-light



One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television



Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete



The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old



Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool! He changed it every 2 innings



Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying



Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women



Walt Disney was afraid of mice



A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate



Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair



Approximately 50% of human poop is made of water.



A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for approximately sixty-nine years.



Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie



A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why



A rhinoceros' horn is made of compacted hair



(((((((((((((((((((((Which of the following is false???))))))))))))))))))))))...

chewing gum while peeling onions.



(((((((((((((((((((((Which of the following is false???))))))))))))))))))))))...

Chuck Norris is weak...that is the biggest lie EVER...



(((((((((((((((((((((Which of the following is false???))))))))))))))))))))))...

a rhinoceros' horn..don't know too much to read i decided to choose the last one..

Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

You may want to consult you doctor before embarking on this diet; otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good luck!!!



DAY ONE



Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, and then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.



Lunch: Four crayons (any colour), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest)



Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.



Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor...



DAY TWO



Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.



Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Dog Food (any flavour). One ice cube, if desired.



Afternoon Snack: Lick a lollipop until sticky, take outside and drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.



Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour orange squash over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.



DAY THREE



Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, then rub fingers in hair. Glass of milk, drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays lollipop from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.



Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.



Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of crisps, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through nose, if possible.



FINAL DAY



Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavour), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes; add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.



Lunch: Eat breadcrumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that lollipop and finish eating it.



Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

ok..ish......that was hilarious babe...hahahhah



Gonna go on this diet soon, It sounds ideal for me....lol



It beats the dagger diet any day (now that hurts your throat...owww)



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

hahaha



sounds like my god-daughter



though she used to eat ciggies too



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

Yep. My boy will be 2 in a few weeks. Sounds just like him!



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

No kids of my own, but heard and seen horror stories, that's mild, but funny!



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

that sounds about right. lol



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

lmfaooooooooooooooooo cool and hilarious joke lol



cheers and thnx for the laughter lol



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

Hehehe will have to try that



Have a star



xxxxxxxx



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

Yeah I liked that one ha ha ha V good



Joke:::::::The Toddler Miracle Diet?

Haha! That's hilarious! I showed my mom and she was like cracking up! HAHAHAHA BWAHHAHA! I especially love the part where it says it shall be thrust up left nostril. Great joke1 I will forward to all my friends!

What does this poem mean to you?

I dont really get it.But i think it means life changes dramatically?it means more than that.I dont know the author I just read it in a book called 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower'.i think I read it's also akid's suicide note.



Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines



He wrote a poem



And he called it "Chops"



because that was the name of his dog



And that's what it was also all about



And the teacher gave him an A



and a gold star



And his mother hung it on the kitchen door



and read it to his aunts



That was the year father Tracy



took all the kids to the zoo



And he let them sing on the bus



And his little sister was born



with tiny toenails and no hair



And his mother and father kissed a lot



And the girl around the corner sent him a



Valentine signed with a row of X's



and he had to ask his father what the X's meant



And his father always tuck him to bed at night



And was always there to do it



Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines



he wrote a poem



And he called it "Autumn"



What does this poem mean to you?

It's about the slow, steady death of innocence and the wilting of achievement by ambivalence. The subject of the poem watches as the scenes that once brought pleasure, slowly change to things ignored, taken for granted and ultimately discarded as being polluted or tainted. It is actually a very well written piece, whoever wrote it knew how to draw the reader in and turn it to an inevitable end...one the reader hoped would be different, but knew on a visceral level would end just the way it did.



It also shows how you can use mirrored lines across stanzas to tell a story that doesn't circle back onto itself, it corkscrews slowly to oblivion.



Very well done



What does this poem mean to you?

o...k...?



What does this poem mean to you?

to me it means your life goes on with changes and sometimes you get a lot of different answers and sometimes you can't rember the question to the answer



What does this poem mean to you?

It's difficult to say... I'd have to say that his life when he was a child was so much brighter than it is now. From yellow paper with green lines to white paper with blue lines. From bright to drab. Not all poems can be understood, but it shares some kind of awkward silence. I felt kind of bad when my teachers and peers didn't get my poems because I thought they said a lot. It seems like the "he" in this poem didn't feel as much happiness as he did when he was younger. He could write about dogs and friends and fathers and zoos, but all he had to write about afterwards was Autumn. Just a season. Maybe he felt like there was nothing left for him. =/ What a sad poem if I understood correctly.



What does this poem mean to you?

It means stuff about things and stuff.



What does this poem mean to you?

It is about Innocence, Discovery (of self), and Death.



1. DEATH I think the author is dead. He put the poem wrote on the paper bag on the bathroom door, because he is bleeding to death by cutting his wrists (so he cannot make it to the kitchen).



2. DISCOVERY In each verse, he grows older and as he does so, he comes to see the world for what it really is; And that people had lied about certain things (i.e Santa Claus).



The authors' final discovery is Nothing.



3. INNOCENCE Lots of examples here: Parents kissing in the first verse, not so in the last. The simple XXX's on the valentine when young, to the distaste sensed when kissing a girl later on.



The key is- all the innocence is corrupted in the end.



RIP the author :p

Great Truths about life........?

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:



%26gt; 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.



%26gt; 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.



%26gt; 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.



%26gt; 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.



%26gt; 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.



%26gt; 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.



%26gt; 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.



%26gt; 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.



%26gt; 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.



%26gt; 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:



%26gt; 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.



%26gt; 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.



%26gt; 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.



%26gt; 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.



%26gt; 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.



%26gt; 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.



GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD



%26gt; 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.



%26gt; 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.



%26gt; 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.



%26gt; 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.



%26gt; 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.



%26gt; 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.



%26gt; 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.



SUCCESS:



%26gt; At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



%26gt; At age 12 success is . . . having friends.



%26gt; At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.



%26gt; At age 35 success is . . . having money.



%26gt; At age 50 success is . . . having money.



%26gt; At age 70 success is . .. having a drivers licence.



%26gt; At age 75 success is . . . having friends.



%26gt; At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



Life is too short. Dance naked!!



Great Truths about life........?

I'm dancing with you! Woohoo!



Great Truths about life........?

brilliantly true have a star



Great Truths about life........?

yep...worth a star.



Great Truths about life........?

I heard the success part before but It was still funny! Have a star!



~Kim on Jazzys acc

I am sad for a silly reason...?

I keep crying over this, and I know it is silly but it really is upsetting me physically, mentally, and spiritually. See, just yesterday I cut off my long hair into a VERY short bob to eliminate many of my layers. Now even though the layers used to bother me, I miss my long hair. I know this is very silly but I can not stop thinking about it and I've been crying nonstop today. I feel very depressed and as if I can not enjoy all the things I used to missing this piece of me. I feel as if I won't feel okay until it grows out once and for all. I know this is silly but I was really hoping for some prayers of comfort and for some other reasons. I don't want to be so sad anymore. Also, I was hoping for some advice. Thanks. :(



I am sad for a silly reason...?

I remember watching on Maury, people cutting their hair off and crying about it. Just keep thinking that itll grow back. :)



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Natural grief. Sounds like you have lost something(a part of you) that has been with you for a long while. Let yourself feel the sadness and it will pass like everything does in time.



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Why is this silly?



You have lost something. You'll need some time to grieve it. Allow yourself to grieve.



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Get used to it!!! stop crying over hair things could be worse!!!



I am sad for a silly reason...?

if your hair is still available take it a cancer sight and they can see that cancer patients have a wig made from your hair. thus growing and cutting your hair will have benefited and blessed some people in need.



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Prayers are not going to help you....just go to the store and buy some of those gule in hair extentions...you will only need a few rows to add lenght....you need to stop being so superficial also....if your hair was that inportant that you feel like you are missing a part of yourself...it just shows that you are not a whole person on the inside....hair grows back...it seems you need to start working on your self esteem....think about all the people who loose all of their hair to cancer and alopecia....be thankful you still have hair...and you were the one that decided to cut it off....its not like you 'lost' something....you decided to 'get rid' something....get over it...



I am sad for a silly reason...?

i've done that before, it just takes some time to get used to it, that's all. after a few day's you'll get used to it and maybe even like it



I am sad for a silly reason...?

I can totally understand (my hair went from being able to sit on to shoulder length) but you are right it will grow.. you are probably more in shock than anything else give your self some time an buy some pretty earrings (that you couldn't show off so well when your hair was long)



an enjoy the short look for a while



I am sad for a silly reason...?

You know when I'm at a part in my cycle, I'll start crying for little reasons too...have you checked a calandar lately?



I too have felt hair chopping remorse. Some aid for it would be, go buy some little clips, and boby-pins...and have some fun experimenting with the new ways you can style your hair, and rent Sabrina, or Roman Holiday, they're movies that are very positive about cutting one's hair off.



Good luck!



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Many woman define themself with their hair. I know a few long haired woman who would NEVER cut their hair. I think you've been brave in cutting your hair. Your hair doesn't define you and it doesn't make you any less. Stop and think about the good things about yourself. For starters your brave and bold for trying something new!



I am sad for a silly reason...?

I will pray for comfort for you :)



We have all made decision we thought were great choices. It wasn't until the result was there that we could see that it had been a bad choice.



Luckily your hair will grow back. Some decision cannot be undone.



I hope that will cheer you up. :) Blessed Be!



I am sad for a silly reason...?

I couldn't imagine cutting mine off, but i'm sure you look better now and its much much eaiser to take care off. I understand why you are hurting though your hair was part of you, its like cutting off a leg. Try having fun with it, do you hair in diffrent styles. If you really can't stand it maybe try a wig. Good luck!



I am sad for a silly reason...?

I have long hair and have not cut it above my shoulders in over 20 years. (I'm 32.) I can definitely relate.



Think of some things that are a pain when you have long hair--going somewhere hot, swimming, eating soup (ends in the soup!), etc. Do those things.



And if you still feel lousy, prenatal vitamins help a *lot*. :-)



I am sad for a silly reason...?

To most people, it is silly. To you, it is an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).



Seek Counseling.



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Go to the mall and buy some earrings and wear a necklace to draw attention away from your hair.



I am sad for a silly reason...?

You are focusing on the wrong things. Your hair is not you. The hair may have been yours, but you are much more than your hair.



Close your eyes and spend some time in prayer to see who you really are. It is not your hair, or eyes, or teeth, or clothes, and any of those things that you see. Find your soul and you will find yourself.



You also need to focus on someone or something outside of yourself. If there are homeless people on the street where you live, go to the grocery store, buy a meal of meat and vegetables in flip top cans, add a plastic fork, spoon, and knife and write a short note of encouragement and love. Tie the bag closed and give it to someone on the corner.



It is called a hopebag and is part of a nationwide outreach project called Project Hopebag. Go to http://www.hopebags.co to learn more about this.



I am sad for a silly reason...?

Been there, done that. I lost all of my hair during chemo-therapy.



It will only take a few days to get used to the new style that is completely foreign to you now.



Keep yourself busy and stop looking in the mirror!!!

Are you Bored?

474 Things To Do When You're Bored



- Wax the ceiling



- Rearrange political campaign signs



- Sharpen your teeth



- Play Houdini with one of your siblings



- Braid your dog's hair



- Clean and polish your belly button



- Water your dog...see if he grows



- Wash a tree



- Knight yourself



- Name your child Edsel



- Scare Stephen King



- Give your cat a mohawk



- Purr



- Mow your carpet



- Play Pat Boone records backwards



- Vacuum your lawn



- Sleep on a bed of nails



- DON'T toss and turn



- Boil ice cream



- Run around in squares



- Think of quadruple entendres



- Speak in acronyms



- Have your pillow X-rayed



- Drink straight shots...of water



- Calmly have a nervous breakdown



- Give your goldfish a perm



- Fly a brick



- Play tag...on West 35th Street



- Exorcise a ghost



- Exercise a ghost



- Be blue



- Be red



- But don't be orange



- Plant a shoe



- Sweat



- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil



- Turn



- Write a letter to Plato



- Mail it



- Take your sofa for a walk



- Start



- Stop



- Dial 911 and breathe heavily



- Go to a funeral...tell jokes



- Play the piano...with mittens on



- Scheme



- Sit



- Stay



- Water your family room



- Cause a power failure



- Roll over



- Play dead



- Find a witch



- Burn her



- Donate your brother's body to science



- Ask why



- Wriggle



- Regress



- Sleepwalk without sleeping



- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail



- Wonder



- Be a square root



- Ask stupid questions



- Weld your car doors shut



- Spew



- Vacation at Three-Mile Island



- Surf Ohio



- Teach your pet rock to play dead



- Go bowling for small game



- Be a monk...for a day



- Wear a sweatband to your wedding



- Staple



- Run away



- Intimidate a piece of chalk



- Abuse the plumbing



- Bend a florescent light



- Bend a brick



- Annoy total strangers



- Let the best man win



- Believe in Santa Claus



- Throw marshmallows against the wall



- Hold an ice cube as long as possible



- Adopt strange mannerisms



- Blow up a balloon until it pops



- Sing soft and sweet and clear



- Sing loud and sour and gravely



- Open everything



- Balance a pencil on your nose



- Pour milk in your shoes



- Write graffiti under the rug



- Embarrass yourself



- Grind your teeth



- Chew ice



- Count your belly button



- Sit in a row



- Stack crumbs



- Gesture



- Save your toenail clippings



- Make a pass at your blender



- Punt



- Make up words that start with X



- Make oatmeal in the bathtub



- Search for the Lost Chord



- Chew on a sofa cushion



- Sing a duet



- Balance a pillow on your head



- Hold your breath



- Faint



- Stretch



- Flash your mailman



- Teach your TA English



- Learn to speak Farsi



- Swear in Russian



- Use an eraser until it goes away



- Disassemble your car



- Put it together inside out



- Record your walls



- Interview your feet



- Make a list of your favorite fungi



- Sell formaldehyde



- Repeat



- Ad lib



- Fade



- File your teeth- Whine



- Rake your carpet



- Re-elect Richard Nixon



- Critique "Three's Company"



- Listen to a painting



- Play with matches



- Buff your cat



- Race ferrets



- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange



- Have a formal dinner at White Castle



- Read Homer in the original Greek



- Learn Greek



- Change your mind



- Change it back



- Watch the sun...see if it moves



- Build a pyramid



- Stand on your head



- Stand on someone else's head



- Spit shine your Nikes



- See how long you can stay awake



- See how long you can sleep



- Paint your teeth



- Wear a salad



- Speak with a forked tongue



- Paint stripes on a lake



- Ski Kansas



- Sleep in freefall



- Kill a Joule



- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick



- Apply for a unicorn hunting license



- Do a good job



- Crawl



- Invite the Mansons over for dinner



- Paint your windows



- Watch a watch until it stops



- Flash your goldfish



- Paint



- Flirt with an evergreen



- Smile



- Rotate your garden...daily



- Paint a smile



- Shoot a fire hydrant



- Apologize to it



- Pretend you're blind



- Annoy yourself



- Get mad at yourself



- Stop speaking to yourself



- Be a side effect



- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley



- Duck



- Redecorate...your garage



- Develop a complex



- Join the Army...be someone simple



- Try harder



- Hit the deck



- Put leg-warmers on your furniture



- Cut the deck



- Crumple



- Translate Shakespeare into English



- Skydive to church



- Cheer up a potato



- Do aerobic exercises...in your head



- Play cards with your swimming pool



- Pinstripe your driveway



- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant



- Harness chipmunk power



- Build a house with ice cubes



- Call London for a cab



- Mug a stop sign



- Change your name...daily



- Go for a walk in your attic



- Challenge your neighbor to a duel



- Build a house out of toothpicks



- Howl



- Wear a lampshade on your head



- Memorize the dictionary



- Stomp grapes in the bathtub



- Find a bug and chase it



- Make yourself a pair of wings



- Be immobile



- Dance 'til you drop



- Check under chairs for chewing gum



- Squish a loaf of bread



- Moo



- Bounce a potato



- Outmaneuver your shadow



- Climb the walls



- Appreciate everything



- Challenge yourself to a duel



- Make napalm



- Tattoo your dresser



- Watch a bowling ball



- Buy some diapers



- Eat everything



- Begin



- Pour milk in the sink



- Make cottage cheese



- Tie-dye your sheets



- Carpet your ceiling



- Hold your earlobes



- Fold your earlobes



- Flap



- Squawk



- Read tea leaves



- Analyze the Koran



- Be Buddha



- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize



- Plug in the cat



- Turn on everything



- Drop pebbles down the chimney



- Turn off your neighbor



- Kill a plant



- Buy a 1931 Almanac



- Memorize the weather section



- Think lewd thoughts about yourself



- Blow bubbles



- Send chills down your spine



- Peel grapes



- Make paper from the skins



- Bloat



- Catch them with your radiator



- Get run over by a train of thought



- Make up famous sayings



- Bite your pinkie- Get your dog braces



- Shave a shrub



- Have a proton fight



- Watch a car rust



- Quiver



- Rotate your carpet



- Learn to type...with your toes



- Set up your Christmas tree in April



- Be someone special



- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge



- Mail it to a friend



- Go back to square one



- Factor your social security number



- Take the fifth



- Memorize a series of random numbers



- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages



- Join the Foreign Legion



- Learn Sanskrit



- Exist...existentially, of course



- Print counterfeit Confederate money



- Kick a cabbage



- Take a picture



- Put it back



- Sandpaper a mushroom



- Play solitaire...for cash



- Abuse your patio furniture



- Run for Pope



- Count to a million...fast



- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock



- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife



- Revert



- Think shallow thoughts



- Starch your shoes



- Polish your Calvin's



- Contemplate a cockroach



- Get a dog to chase your car



- Let him catch it



- Investigate the Czar



- Form a political party



- Climb a sidewalk



- Have a political party



- Get diagonal...with a good friend



- Ride a loaf of bread



- Sharpen a carrot



- Interrogate a gerbil



- Go bow hunting for Toyotas



- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids



- Jump back



- Play to lose



- Scalp a street light



- Have your car painted...plaid



- Read a tomato



- Sharpen your sleeping skills



- Watch a game show...take notes



- Put out a fire



- If you can't find a fire, make one



- Interview a cloud



- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood



- Play basketball...in a minefield



- Don't talk to things



- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling



- Have your cat bronzed



- Have your gerbil gilded



- Write books about writing books



- Create random equations



- Mispell words



- Tell your feet a joke



- Throw a tomato into a fan



- Sing the ABC song backwards



- Pretend you're a dog



- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it



- Grease the doorknobs



- String up a room



- Stack furniture



- Relive fond memories



- Tie your shoelaces together



- Gargle



- Count your teeth with your tongue



- Decay



- Find your half-life



- Design a better toilet seat



- Shred a newspaper



- Have a headache



- Scratch



- Sniff



- Hatch an egg



- Play air guitar



- Act profound



- Spill



- Spell



- Stare



- Truncate



- Slouch



- Develop hearing problems



- Put your feet behind your head



- Tie bows in everything



- Hold your hand



- Watch the minute hand move



- Grow your fingernails



- Pretend you're a telephone



- Ring



- Radiate



- Skip



- Play hopscotch...with real scotch



- Clock the velocity of your REMs



- Put your shoes on the opposite feet



- Cross your toes



- Roll your tongue



- Crystallize



- Baby oil the floor



- Hide



- Attack innocent bunnies



- Declare war



- Destroy a tree



- Hide the scrabble bag



- Seduce your stick shift



- Wink



- Memorize the periodic table



- Mummify



- Pretend you're a roadie



- Buy a Ginsu knife



- Collect electrons



- Correct typos that aren't there



- Polish your neck...use Pledge



- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God



- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car



- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet



- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes



- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture



- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending



- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")



- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother



- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong



- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail



- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire



- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before



- Walk on water...but don't get caught



- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen



- Be in the wrong place at the right time



- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board



- Request covert assistance from the CIA



- Discover the source of the Mississippi



- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska



- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes



- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is



- Drink as much prune juice as you can



- Write a book about your previous life



- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres



- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock



- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins



- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels



- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow



- Drive the speed limit...in your garage



- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final



- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna



- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check



- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people



- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas



- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes



- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster



- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement



- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English



- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good



- job they're doing...On April 1st



- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor



- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them



- Turn your TV picture tube upside down



- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy



- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets



- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks



- Be planar...but don't tell your parents



- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck



- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed



- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed



- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese



- Debate politics with a fern



- See how small you can scrunch your face- Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis



- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)



- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation



- Raise professional certified racing turnips



- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation



- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.



- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank



- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway



- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first



- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch



- Send your goldfish to obedience school



- Free the oppressed toasters of America



- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing



- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave



- Park your car...with a friend



- Park your car...with a group of friends



- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy



- Place it on the wall of your office



- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)



- Contribute to the population problem



- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign



- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor



- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife



- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway



- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night



- Play with anything that looks interesting



- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first



- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water



- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work



- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up



- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")



- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design



- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock



- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like



- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house



- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while



- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green



- Bronze your sister's turtle



- See how long it takes for her to notice



- See what she does when she notices



- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.



- Increase your territorial holdings by force



- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat



- Boldly go where no man has gone before



- Be a threat to the American way of life



- Do research into the cause of World War III



- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life



- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh



Are you Bored?

most of that stuff i cant do b/c im at work



Are you Bored?

what a scream! If anyone could scare Stephen King that would be a real achievement! You are very creative. Love it! Report It



Are you Bored?

OK, didn't read all of these because too long...but...



puuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...



That should answer your question. ;-)



Are you Bored?

Interesting, but you could always play the pingu bashing game... my whole office is hooked.



http://www.flumps.org/funny/bloodypingu/



P.S. salmon



Are you Bored?

lol... very original good stuff.



Are you Bored?

i guess you are unemployed



Are you Bored?

I like the, "Pay off the national debt...with a bad check" and "Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy



Are you Bored?

I'd like a Molotov cocktail please barkeep.



Are you Bored?

I would rather play a round of Scrabble at Scrabulous!