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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

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Make WAR, not SEX, it's safer!

Laws are like bones; they're made to be broken.

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

The world's so terrible that one can only make fun of it.

It's only hopeless if you walk away.

Fun is just point of view.

Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.

Never open a book before 4 p.m. Sunday. (Rule of Weekend Studying)

Hugs don't feel as good on the computer.

Everything is possible; just not too probable.

Never trust a nun with a gun.

Cute and interesting are two different things.

There is always so much time left at the end of the money!

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

You always find something in the last place you look.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes.

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

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Laughter is the best medicine.

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THANKS VERY NICE , IT IS AMAZING,ITS BEST.

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11.the easiest toy a child can operate is a grandparent.....

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Life isn't about how many moments you have, but how many moments take your breath away.

Life's best memories are the ones where you just smile and say "You had to be there."

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If Grandmas had known grandchildren were gonna be so special they would have had them first!!!!!!!!! :)

Most family trees are full of nuts!!!