GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked
Humour of the day 4 U?
ha ha. that would put a smile on anyones face!!
Humour of the day 4 U?
those are good
Humour of the day 4 U?
ahh i really enjoyed reading that :-)
Humour of the day 4 U?
thanks for the laugh, i needed that after the day im having xxx
Humour of the day 4 U?
Those were good. I loved the "nailing jelly to a tree line". Where did you find these quotes?
Humour of the day 4 U?
Good, but I don't like to dance naked.
Humour of the day 4 U?
good a smile is just what i needed thanks.
Humour of the day 4 U?
Not at all a question, but nice...
Humour of the day 4 U?
You are right about the teenagers ! Nailing jelly to a tree lol
Thanks for the smile :)
Humour of the day 4 U?
growing up is optional. yep thats me. l'd mao thanx.
i dont dance.i just hang out. :-{D
Humour of the day 4 U?
enjoyed that luv, thanx!
Humour of the day 4 U?
Those are excellent.
Humour of the day 4 U?
Thanks.
Humour of the day 4 U?
Brilliant, well done for cheering my day!
Humour of the day 4 U?
HEY, PRETTY COOL. MY MOMS GONNA LOVE IT. THANK YOU FOR THE SMILE!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS!!
Humour of the day 4 U?
thats good made me smile awwww
Humour of the day 4 U?
You made me smile, was having a poo day!
Humour of the day 4 U?
thats soo cool man!!!!!!
Humour of the day 4 U?
LMAO thats all funny and true!
Humour of the day 4 U?
wow, very nice indeed!
Humour of the day 4 U?
Ha ha great stuff :))
Humour of the day 4 U?
Thankyou!
I've had a couple of stressful weeks, and you just helped me to smile again!
Humour of the day 4 U?
no...NOOO. and hell no
Humour of the day 4 U?
*lol* Those were funny...and so true!
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