Are you Bored?

474 Things To Do When You're Bored

- Wax the ceiling

- Rearrange political campaign signs

- Sharpen your teeth

- Play Houdini with one of your siblings

- Braid your dog's hair

- Clean and polish your belly button

- Water your dog...see if he grows

- Wash a tree

- Knight yourself

- Name your child Edsel

- Scare Stephen King

- Give your cat a mohawk

- Purr

- Mow your carpet

- Play Pat Boone records backwards

- Vacuum your lawn

- Sleep on a bed of nails

- DON'T toss and turn

- Boil ice cream

- Run around in squares

- Think of quadruple entendres

- Speak in acronyms

- Have your pillow X-rayed

- Drink straight shots...of water

- Calmly have a nervous breakdown

- Give your goldfish a perm

- Fly a brick

- Play tag...on West 35th Street

- Exorcise a ghost

- Exercise a ghost

- Be blue

- Be red

- But don't be orange

- Plant a shoe

- Sweat

- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil

- Turn

- Write a letter to Plato

- Mail it

- Take your sofa for a walk

- Start

- Stop

- Dial 911 and breathe heavily

- Go to a funeral...tell jokes

- Play the piano...with mittens on

- Scheme

- Sit

- Stay

- Water your family room

- Cause a power failure

- Roll over

- Play dead

- Find a witch

- Burn her

- Donate your brother's body to science

- Ask why

- Wriggle

- Regress

- Sleepwalk without sleeping

- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail

- Wonder

- Be a square root

- Ask stupid questions

- Weld your car doors shut

- Spew

- Vacation at Three-Mile Island

- Surf Ohio

- Teach your pet rock to play dead

- Go bowling for small game

- Be a monk...for a day

- Wear a sweatband to your wedding

- Staple

- Run away

- Intimidate a piece of chalk

- Abuse the plumbing

- Bend a florescent light

- Bend a brick

- Annoy total strangers

- Let the best man win

- Believe in Santa Claus

- Throw marshmallows against the wall

- Hold an ice cube as long as possible

- Adopt strange mannerisms

- Blow up a balloon until it pops

- Sing soft and sweet and clear

- Sing loud and sour and gravely

- Open everything

- Balance a pencil on your nose

- Pour milk in your shoes

- Write graffiti under the rug

- Embarrass yourself

- Grind your teeth

- Chew ice

- Count your belly button

- Sit in a row

- Stack crumbs

- Gesture

- Save your toenail clippings

- Make a pass at your blender

- Punt

- Make up words that start with X

- Make oatmeal in the bathtub

- Search for the Lost Chord

- Chew on a sofa cushion

- Sing a duet

- Balance a pillow on your head

- Hold your breath

- Faint

- Stretch

- Flash your mailman

- Teach your TA English

- Learn to speak Farsi

- Swear in Russian

- Use an eraser until it goes away

- Disassemble your car

- Put it together inside out

- Record your walls

- Interview your feet

- Make a list of your favorite fungi

- Sell formaldehyde

- Repeat

- Ad lib

- Fade

- File your teeth- Whine

- Rake your carpet

- Re-elect Richard Nixon

- Critique "Three's Company"

- Listen to a painting

- Play with matches

- Buff your cat

- Race ferrets

- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange

- Have a formal dinner at White Castle

- Read Homer in the original Greek

- Learn Greek

- Change your mind

- Change it back

- Watch the sun...see if it moves

- Build a pyramid

- Stand on your head

- Stand on someone else's head

- Spit shine your Nikes

- See how long you can stay awake

- See how long you can sleep

- Paint your teeth

- Wear a salad

- Speak with a forked tongue

- Paint stripes on a lake

- Ski Kansas

- Sleep in freefall

- Kill a Joule

- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick

- Apply for a unicorn hunting license

- Do a good job

- Crawl

- Invite the Mansons over for dinner

- Paint your windows

- Watch a watch until it stops

- Flash your goldfish

- Paint

- Flirt with an evergreen

- Smile

- Rotate your garden...daily

- Paint a smile

- Shoot a fire hydrant

- Apologize to it

- Pretend you're blind

- Annoy yourself

- Get mad at yourself

- Stop speaking to yourself

- Be a side effect

- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley

- Duck

- Redecorate...your garage

- Develop a complex

- Join the Army...be someone simple

- Try harder

- Hit the deck

- Put leg-warmers on your furniture

- Cut the deck

- Crumple

- Translate Shakespeare into English

- Skydive to church

- Cheer up a potato

- Do aerobic exercises...in your head

- Play cards with your swimming pool

- Pinstripe your driveway

- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant

- Harness chipmunk power

- Build a house with ice cubes

- Call London for a cab

- Mug a stop sign

- Change your name...daily

- Go for a walk in your attic

- Challenge your neighbor to a duel

- Build a house out of toothpicks

- Howl

- Wear a lampshade on your head

- Memorize the dictionary

- Stomp grapes in the bathtub

- Find a bug and chase it

- Make yourself a pair of wings

- Be immobile

- Dance 'til you drop

- Check under chairs for chewing gum

- Squish a loaf of bread

- Moo

- Bounce a potato

- Outmaneuver your shadow

- Climb the walls

- Appreciate everything

- Challenge yourself to a duel

- Make napalm

- Tattoo your dresser

- Watch a bowling ball

- Buy some diapers

- Eat everything

- Begin

- Pour milk in the sink

- Make cottage cheese

- Tie-dye your sheets

- Carpet your ceiling

- Hold your earlobes

- Fold your earlobes

- Flap

- Squawk

- Read tea leaves

- Analyze the Koran

- Be Buddha

- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize

- Plug in the cat

- Turn on everything

- Drop pebbles down the chimney

- Turn off your neighbor

- Kill a plant

- Buy a 1931 Almanac

- Memorize the weather section

- Think lewd thoughts about yourself

- Blow bubbles

- Send chills down your spine

- Peel grapes

- Make paper from the skins

- Bloat

- Catch them with your radiator

- Get run over by a train of thought

- Make up famous sayings

- Bite your pinkie- Get your dog braces

- Shave a shrub

- Have a proton fight

- Watch a car rust

- Quiver

- Rotate your carpet

- Learn to type...with your toes

- Set up your Christmas tree in April

- Be someone special

- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge

- Mail it to a friend

- Go back to square one

- Factor your social security number

- Take the fifth

- Memorize a series of random numbers

- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages

- Join the Foreign Legion

- Learn Sanskrit

- Exist...existentially, of course

- Print counterfeit Confederate money

- Kick a cabbage

- Take a picture

- Put it back

- Sandpaper a mushroom

- Play solitaire...for cash

- Abuse your patio furniture

- Run for Pope

- Count to a million...fast

- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock

- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife

- Revert

- Think shallow thoughts

- Starch your shoes

- Polish your Calvin's

- Contemplate a cockroach

- Get a dog to chase your car

- Let him catch it

- Investigate the Czar

- Form a political party

- Climb a sidewalk

- Have a political party

- Get diagonal...with a good friend

- Ride a loaf of bread

- Sharpen a carrot

- Interrogate a gerbil

- Go bow hunting for Toyotas

- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids

- Jump back

- Play to lose

- Scalp a street light

- Have your car painted...plaid

- Read a tomato

- Sharpen your sleeping skills

- Watch a game show...take notes

- Put out a fire

- If you can't find a fire, make one

- Interview a cloud

- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood

- Play basketball...in a minefield

- Don't talk to things

- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling

- Have your cat bronzed

- Have your gerbil gilded

- Write books about writing books

- Create random equations

- Mispell words

- Tell your feet a joke

- Throw a tomato into a fan

- Sing the ABC song backwards

- Pretend you're a dog

- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it

- Grease the doorknobs

- String up a room

- Stack furniture

- Relive fond memories

- Tie your shoelaces together

- Gargle

- Count your teeth with your tongue

- Decay

- Find your half-life

- Design a better toilet seat

- Shred a newspaper

- Have a headache

- Scratch

- Sniff

- Hatch an egg

- Play air guitar

- Act profound

- Spill

- Spell

- Stare

- Truncate

- Slouch

- Develop hearing problems

- Put your feet behind your head

- Tie bows in everything

- Hold your hand

- Watch the minute hand move

- Grow your fingernails

- Pretend you're a telephone

- Ring

- Radiate

- Skip

- Play hopscotch...with real scotch

- Clock the velocity of your REMs

- Put your shoes on the opposite feet

- Cross your toes

- Roll your tongue

- Crystallize

- Baby oil the floor

- Hide

- Attack innocent bunnies

- Declare war

- Destroy a tree

- Hide the scrabble bag

- Seduce your stick shift

- Wink

- Memorize the periodic table

- Mummify

- Pretend you're a roadie

- Buy a Ginsu knife

- Collect electrons

- Correct typos that aren't there

- Polish your neck...use Pledge

- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God

- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car

- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet

- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes

- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture

- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending

- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")

- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother

- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong

- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail

- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire

- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before

- Walk on water...but don't get caught

- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen

- Be in the wrong place at the right time

- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board

- Request covert assistance from the CIA

- Discover the source of the Mississippi

- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska

- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes

- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is

- Drink as much prune juice as you can

- Write a book about your previous life

- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres

- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock

- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins

- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels

- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow

- Drive the speed limit...in your garage

- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final

- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna

- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check

- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people

- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas

- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes

- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster

- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement

- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English

- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good

- job they're doing...On April 1st

- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor

- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them

- Turn your TV picture tube upside down

- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy

- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets

- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks

- Be planar...but don't tell your parents

- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck

- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed

- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed

- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese

- Debate politics with a fern

- See how small you can scrunch your face- Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis

- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)

- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation

- Raise professional certified racing turnips

- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation

- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.

- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank

- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway

- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first

- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch

- Send your goldfish to obedience school

- Free the oppressed toasters of America

- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing

- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave

- Park your car...with a friend

- Park your car...with a group of friends

- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy

- Place it on the wall of your office

- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)

- Contribute to the population problem

- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign

- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor

- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife

- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway

- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night

- Play with anything that looks interesting

- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first

- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water

- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work

- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up

- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")

- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design

- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock

- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like

- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house

- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while

- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green

- Bronze your sister's turtle

- See how long it takes for her to notice

- See what she does when she notices

- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.

- Increase your territorial holdings by force

- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat

- Boldly go where no man has gone before

- Be a threat to the American way of life

- Do research into the cause of World War III

- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life

- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh

Are you Bored?

most of that stuff i cant do b/c im at work

Are you Bored?

what a scream! If anyone could scare Stephen King that would be a real achievement! You are very creative. Love it! Report It

Are you Bored?

OK, didn't read all of these because too long...but...

puuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

That should answer your question. ;-)

Are you Bored?

Interesting, but you could always play the pingu bashing game... my whole office is hooked.

http://www.flumps.org/funny/bloodypingu/

P.S. salmon

Are you Bored?

lol... very original good stuff.

Are you Bored?

i guess you are unemployed

Are you Bored?

I like the, "Pay off the national debt...with a bad check" and "Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy

Are you Bored?

I'd like a Molotov cocktail please barkeep.

Are you Bored?

I would rather play a round of Scrabble at Scrabulous!