Questions!?

How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?

Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?

Can you cry underwater?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color?

If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?

Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?

Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?

How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

When the French swear do they say pardon my English?

Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?

How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?

Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?

If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans?

If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?

Why are red buttons always the most important?

How is chess considered a sport?

Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?

If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?

If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"?

If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs?

Would you die if you didn't pee?

Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?

How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?

If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?

Could you be a closet claustrophobic?

Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?

If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?

Where do all the daylight savings hours go?

Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?

What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror?

Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?

Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?

Can you slam a revolving door?

How young can you be, but still die of old age?

What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?

Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?

What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card?

Can you read a picture book?

Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?

Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!

If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror?

if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?

What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8?

What shape is the sky?

If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead?

Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?

If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?

If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?

What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?

Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?What's the difference between a novel and a book?

How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

Do penguins have knees?

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Questions!?

The answer is: FOUR!

Questions!?

Do you really expect me to read all of that, even for ten points LOL yeah right

Questions!?

GET A LIFE

Questions!?

Yes.

Questions!?

no

Questions!?

Um....thats to many words and it's rude to try and make people read them. Not Cool

Questions!?

Somebody is manic today!

Take a deep breath and exhale slowly . . . now take your thorazine!

Questions!?

Too many questions to answer. Slow down before you run out of breath. Break it down into groups. We can't answer all of these.

Questions!?

Why is there braile on the drive up atm machine?

Questions!?

People do not want u to get hurt.

Questions!?

Very funny, I like the black cat, mirror, and ladder one.

Questions!?

You have way too much time on your hands.

Questions!?

nothing like doing it all at once

Questions!?

Dang!!!

You're really bored!!!

Questions!?

How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?

-Because in an emergency people often panic, they may freeze up and unintentionally cause others to be injured.

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

-I imagine she sells pretty shells. They are hard to find, you should try it sometimes.

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

-Nonfiction

Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

-I can't answer this, I haven't seen his parents, but likely being square is a recessive trait and both of his parents were carriers of this trait.

Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?

-No

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

-No

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

-Ducks have a better sense of self preservation than chickens who often "run around with their heads cut off"

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

-Not if you are convicted.

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

-No angel food cake refers to how the dessert tastes "Heavenly" not to that it is made from angels.

If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

-This isn't possible because the gas pressure doesn't build up in both places simultaniously.

Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?

-No

Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?

-Because you have to pay people to take advice they don't want.

Can you cry underwater?

-Yes

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

-A restraunt can refuse service to anyone they wish. I suppose it would be up to the management as they aren't legally bound by that kind of sign.

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

-No "African Elephant" is the name of that species of animal, an African person is just a person that lives in africa. All people are the same species.

Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color?

-Sometimes it does, but usually the dose of food coloring is too small to stain skin.

If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

-They would call enough doctors to work on both, although if the doctor had died, it would be a moot point to "work on him"

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?

-Because people often don't consider the lyrics of a song. Many of the "Kidz Bop" songs are simultaniously woefully innapropriate for children.

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

-Perhaps being this way is considered the normal human existance and when we are unhappy we are heels over feet and thus have our head on the ground hung low.

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

-According to the book "Wicked", she bathes in some kind of oil, probably vegetable.

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?

-Yes, they do.

Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?

-Because people are dumb enough to try and sue otherwise.

Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?

-No, they also find the nude human form attractive.

How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?

-I imagine his respiratory system was quite complex and somehow allowed this

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

-Yes

When the French swear do they say pardon my English?

-No

Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?

-I imagine they either remember a sort of video of the person, or they remember in more abstract ways.

How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?

-People have been standing in lines for things before Disneyland. There were plenty of boardwalks at the turn of the century, for example.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

-Habit, pleasure comes from the refridgerator and so people seek it from there unconsiously.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

-They do make colored bubble bath.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-Who would believe there are four billion stars? Also abstract things like numbers so large are hard to deal with in anything more than an offhanded way. Touching wet paint is easier to deal with. Plus I think that people like to touch wet paint anyway, it reminds them of childhood.

Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?

-Actually they call someone late no matter when they died. I think it is actually a joke.

Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?

-Hell is the birthplace of lies, and thus hell is neither fast nor slow.

If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans?

-Serving size is determined by the size of the packaging and the amount of calories rather than reference to something else's serving size. You'll find a small can of soda has a different amount of calories etc than a regular sized can.

If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?

-I don't think this has ever happened, I think it'd be up to that particular monarch.

Why are red buttons always the most important?

-Red holds a high place in the cultural color spectrum. It is considered a color of power, of passion, and of danger. A red button is also highly distinguishable against metal.

How is chess considered a sport?

-It is a competition, not all sports have to be contact.

Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?

-It is still called drool if it is involentary.

If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?

-Probably womens

If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"?

-While I suppose you could call it that, teaching a younger class is not considered a demotion.

If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs?

-Yes

Would you die if you didn't pee?

-Yes

Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?

-They don't.

How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.

-People think of their childhood as nostalgic and yours as annoying.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

-The easter bunny is a "cleaned up" version of a pagan diety.

When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?

-The jewish faith believes in the bible.

If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

-They sort of look like marble

If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?

-You would fall down towards the center of the earth until you melted from the extreme temperature.

Could you be a closet claustrophobic?

-Yes, closet is used euphamistically in this case.

Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?

-With assertiveness training.

If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?

-Ketchup doesn't go well with dairy.

Where do all the daylight savings hours go?

-They aren't really saved, they are just shifted an hour.

Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?

-All hair has a biologically imprinted "stopping point"

What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror?

-Youd have a scared cat and a broken mirror

Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

-Who would want to leave an island where you got three supermodels?

Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

-New isn't always the opposite of old, in this case they are "Young People"

How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?

-By removing his glove, but likely a spiritual representation of hatred doesn't have bowel movements.

Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?

-I imagine it doesnt' can well

Can you slam a revolving door?

-No

How young can you be, but still die of old age?

-No one dies of old age anymore, it isn't a recognized cause of death since the 70s.

What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?

-I suppose you'd bend over and pick it up.

Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?

-If he is a decent instructor he will.

If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?

-He was a bear

What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card?

-You will need a new card

Can you read a picture book?

-No

Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?

-You don't shake ketchup packets, you squeeze them

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

-With the number of mattress stores in the country, I would doubt that there is ever a day when one of them isn't having a sale.

Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?

-If the mermaid is a different species, then no.

Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol?

I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!

-Sometimes adults take children's tylenol.

If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror?

-Night vision goggles amplify the amount of light in the area, a mirror would work with limited capacity

if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?

-I'm not researching this, but it is likely that it would be 19.

What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8?

-I guess they play another game each.

What shape is the sky?

-Dome

Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?

-Yes

If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?

-Depends on your intent.

If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?

-No, this should be implicit in that you were not asking them if you could shoot them.

Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

-China likes to be ironic

What's the difference between a novel and a book?

-A novel is a kind of book

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

-Yes they do, it helps them keep on schedule.

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

-This will vary by city ordinance

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

-No, hot pocket is the name of the product regardless of temperature

If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?

-We didn't technically evolve from the same kind of monkeys/apes around today

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

-This one IS a mystery

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

-It is for mysteries that are still unsolved rather than mysteries that have been solved like a mystery novel. It is to show that the program is about real mysteries instead of fictional ones.

Do penguins have knees?

-No

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

-This is a colloquial thing.

edit:

I'd like to stress that when no one buys a ticket for a movie they DO still play it. This sounds rhetorical but I used to work in a movie theatre and this would happen occasionally. If the movie is not shown it runs the risk of throwing off the schedule. Also if someone comes late for that movie (say 10 minutes which does happen) and the staff is forced to start the movie 10 minutes late, it will affect all other movies that day!

Questions!?

Good Job Copying And Pasting!!!!!

Questions!?

seen multiple questions for one here b4---points are easy to make either way

Questions!?

because its the right thing to do.

Questions!?

too many fricken questions...

Questions!?

LOL thats great!

Questions!?

way to mutch time on your hands

Questions!?

hhmmmm....

Questions!?

goodness, don't you have anything else to do?

Questions!?

If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?

STILL CALLED A QUEEN!!! HA HA HA

Questions!?

Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

The oppisite of old is young, and the oppisite of new is used.

Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

Same Reason.

Questions!?

hahaha I cant believe I actually read all that!It was funny though. I'm about to copy and paste it to send to all my friends!lol

Questions!?

lol, i loves it. i'm gonna copy and paste and send it to my friends.

Questions!?

did u just copy and paste all that? hehe LMAO! cool.

Questions!?

not to block it just in case

she was good!

non-fiction, but is that really right?

because he is a square!

no

cause

no, but they should

i bet they do

nope

no, just a fraud

dont know but its a rip off either way

not if they dont want to

nope, still just african

cause it's only flavored not dye gum

if he was dead why would they need to work on him?

to scare them into submission

if your heels were over your head would you still be happy?

thats why noone wanted to be around her

no they dont

just in case

no just other nudists

he doesn't, just takes breaths in between

sure why not

the French dont care

not if they were born deaf

he was a genius!

theyve got the munchies

its not dye, just bubble bath

cause theyre dumb

dont know

huh?

it should be

his highness

they just are

it shouldnt be

it's not

women's

no just demoted

sometimes

no just explode

because of walt disney

only if youre dumb

thyre chick eggs

yes the old testament

they are marblized

but burned alive

no just claustophobic in the closet

yes, cut them off

it is

far far waway

it does, try shaving to see!

nothing, cats aren't superstitious

cause were dumb

newborns???

he doesn't, he's dead

it would turn brown

no, just spin it

over 65

it would balance out

yes, just not his pupils

you already asked that

but its too slow

it heals faster

only with words

cause you gotta squeeze

new years day

no, cause theyre not human

definately!

those magnify light

19

everybody is happy

oval

nope

other nuts are also allergenic

blinking

sure

cause it is

but it is

nothing

you asked that

yes, just in case

and as far as they can go up

no, just still frozen

evolution

teflon

yes they would

nope, thats why they waddle

i dont know

Questions!?

If someone else runs faster, you might get trampled.

Sally閳ユ獨 seashells were premium quality.

I believe it is a separate section for religion.

Because of those damn square pants he has to wear!

A two humper does not store more water than a one humper.

No, but you have a happier cow.

Truthfully, ducks are smarter than chickens.

Not if they have a good reason.

Not a chance.

Yes, it is actually called BurpFart Vacuum Syndrome.

No, just 閳ユ矾nlucky閳?

Because you feel moved to give them MORE than they asked for.

Crying underwater is not advisable. You will gag if you are snorkeling, and in a diver閳ユ獨 suit, boy is your peep hole gonna get steamy!

Restaurants do not have to serve the pantless.

It is a visitor.

Because most people don閳ユ獩 want the inside of their mouth to look like a green apple.

Teams of doctors would respond to both the doctor and the patient. Hopefully, if the doctor was dead, the patient would get more attention.

It is called Shock Therapy. Scare the little boogers to sleep!

You stumped me on that one!

A Wicked Witch bathe???? That would dilute her powers.

Yes, in case little baby hairs give their dying gasp and join the others in the Daily Special.

Actually, they may cause drowsiness clear into the next day.

Nudists have pinups of nude people, with Velcro clothing. It gives them a charge to peek underneath.

Darth Vader has powers I will not pretend to comprehend.

No, a wheelchair comedian would be referred to as a Roll-Out.

The French swear in French, and their arrogance prevents them from saying 閳ユ阀ardon閳?at all.

Neither, they see little actors acting out what they are thinking about.

Man, that Disney guy really was a genius!

Hope lives eternal, man, hope lives eternal.

That is a problem that the bubble bath people should definitely address.

It閳ユ獨 a little easier to test the wet paint theory.

Maybe they were hoping they would die even sooner?

Hell may be fast or it may be slow, but it is definitely damnably unlikeable!

The big cans are made for bigger people, the little cans are made for littler people.

A Royal Fairy Tail?

Red is a sign of importance.

I think they should consider it a tedious duty.

Drool is unintentionally expelled, while spit is done on purpose.

It would have to have adjoining cells.

There are more degraded teachers out there than people would like to admit.

If you get chemotherapy you lose ALL your hairs. Yep, even those.

No, but your bladder could explode, which could lead to life threatening medical conditions.

They sound like what we THINK good ole Abe would sound like.

Adults are as confused as children. Stay a kid as long as you can. But be mature about it!

Good grief! Don閳ユ獩 you know he閳ユ獨 best friends with Henny Penny?? She閳ユ獨 got all the hens at the cluck laying eggs overtime!

Actually, most courts don閳ユ獩 ask you to swear on the Bible, they just ask you to swear to tell the truth.

They were made to resemble the swirled surface of marble.

Let閳ユ獨 just jump out of the hole when we get to the other side?

Closet claustrophobics are the most common variety.

If they are addicted to counseling you have to treat them badly enough that they develop a new psychosis and forget about the addiction thing.

What, you don閳ユ獩 like it on mashed potatoes?

They are put into the daylight savings bank, and redeemed during summer months.

Because your brain says, Ok, that閳ユ獨 enough you arm hairs! Take a rest! Head hairs, Keep Growing!

Keep the cat for good luck.

Maybe they don閳ユ獩 WANT to be rescued.

Let閳ユ獨 start a petition to change that!

Not gonna think about scary movies, not gonna think about scary movies, not閳?

It閳ユ獨 bad enough fresh, you REALLY want to have to eat it canned???

Yes, but make sure no one is in it first, cause it will take them on the ride of their lives!

Nothing less than 70 years, Federal Law OA-70OA.

I閳ユ獓 grab that sucker and stick it in my button hole. The clover, I mean.

Obviously not.

Duplicate question. See above.

Pooh is a Bear of very little brain. Give him a break!

You sue the sender for causing you trauma in more ways than one.

Picture books are for looking, not reading.

Ketchup packets are usually squished around enough to be considered 閳ユ藩haken閳?

I believe mattresses are always on sale.

No, it tastes like chicken.

The Department of Child Labor will be investigating that!

You閳ユ獧e in the dark, buddy!

Drinking age is still 21.

I know nothing about NHL, but I assume that would create a problem?

Convex.

I think a Jewish person could claim exemption.

Yes, people are that stupid.

Blinking, unless you get that cute little smile on your face first.

You would have to, at their request. Whaddya gonna do???

It is a legume that chicks like to eat. The feathered kind of chicks.

China wants you to THINK they are a republic.

About 400 pages.

Another repeat question. Must I reprimand you?

Yes, and all the employees get to have free popcorn and soda while they watch it. And maybe jujubes, too, if anybody really likes those things.

Not if you debate it in front of a bunch of corporate lawyers.

It閳ユ獨 soggy.

To fuel the debate.

Exposure to air causes it to harden. It閳ユ獨 ok as long as you keep it covered!

Because they are NOT solved.

Yes, definitely. With frostbite, most likely.

Tricky question. Just get a hammer and whack it either way.

~~~~~~

I really did read and answer EVERY ONE of these questions. I閳ユ獡 a big kid now!!!!