Thursday, July 30, 2009

Stages of life?

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:



1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.



2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.



3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.



4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.



5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.



6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.



7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.



8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.



9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.



10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:



1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.



2) Wrinkles don't hurt.



3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.



4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.



5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.



6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.



GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD



1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.



2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.



3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.



4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.



5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.



6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.



7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.



THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:



1) You believe in Santa Claus.



2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.



3) You are Santa Claus.



4) You look like Santa Claus.



SUCCESS:



At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



At age 12 success is . . . having friends.



At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.



At age 35 success is . . . having money.



At age 50 success is . . . having money.



At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.



At age 75 success is . . . having friends.



At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



Stages of life?

wow thats the most humorous and the most truthful stages of life



i give u a thumbs up, i wish i could give u 10 points



Stages of life?

Those are too funny! I particularly like the Santa ones.



Stages of life?

I liked this one very mucho! Made me smile!



Stages of life?

i've heard those, still good-thanx



Stages of life?

cute, i liked the success ones lol



Stages of life?

kinda long but cool



Stages of life?

i wish i would have known the kids ones years ago!!



Stages of life?

Nice. o_o



Stages of life?

lol cuute!=]



Stages of life?

so ture love it thanks for the laught today!



Stages of life?

at age 35.......try not 2 b insane



Stages of life?

that was cute...



Stages of life?

Very nice!!! Dang it I missed success and 17 and still haven't bothered to get my license. Oh well hopefully I can get back on track and be rich by 35. :)



Stages of life?

Very lengthy....no patience to read all.....



GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED....so true, especially #2...



Stages of life?

This is funny!



Stages of life?

OMG!!! I LOVE all of these!!!! That So Funny, and true!!!! ROTFLOL!!!!!!



Stages of life?

Uh, oh I am in for a world of trouble if this is true

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