Sunday, July 12, 2009

Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

Once upon a time there was a magic mirror that could tell when you were lying.



If you were, ZAP! It would suck you in and you were gone forever.



One day, an old lady, a brunette, and a blonde happened by the mirror. The old



lady looked in it and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."



ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she was gone.



The brunette looked in and said, "I think I'm the most



Beautiful woman in the world." ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she, too,



disappeared.



The blonde looked in and said, "I think. . ."



ZAP!



A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he



entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by



reciting the letters, "T-G-I-F."



He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked at him, Puzzled, and said



"T-G-I-F" again.



He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."The blonde was trying



to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said, as sweetly as



possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.



The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a Quizzical expression,



"S-H-I-T."



The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she



said, "T-G-I-F,Thank Goodness it閳ユ獨 Friday, get it?"



The man answered,"S-H-I-T: Sorry Honey, its Thursday."



The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a



Complaint of pains all over her body.



"Be more precise," he said. "So I can help you, try pointing to some of the



places that hurt.



The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, "Ouch!" then her



finger to her hip and said, "Ouch!" and then to her rib cage and said, "Ouch!"



again.



The doctor stopped her and asked, "Were you a blonde before your hair grayed"?



"Why yes!" she said excitedly, "But how did you know?"



The Doc answered, "Your fingers broken."



Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first



Blonde, Judy, planned the robbery and went over the plan with the second



blonde, Buffy, in great detail.



The robbery began. Judy drove up in front of the bank,



Stopped the car and said to Buffy, "I want to make



Absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of



the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you



Understand the plan?"



"Perfectly," replied Buffy.



Buffy went in the bank while Judy waited in the getaway



Car. One minute passed...three minutes pass...seven



Minutes pass... and Judy was really stressing out.



Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here came Buffy.She had a safe wrapped



up in rope and is dragging it to the car.



About the time she got the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst



open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear



are down around his ankles while he was firing his weapon.



As the gals are getting away, Judy yelled, "You are such a Blonde! I thought



you understood the plan!"



Buffy said, "I did. I did exactly what you said!"



"No, you idiot!" snapped Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said, 'tie up the



GUARD and blow the SAFE!'"



One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over and help



me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."



Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"



The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a



Tiger."



The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at



Puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him



to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.



He studies the pieces for a moment, and then studies the box.



He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do,I'm not going to be



able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.



Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these



Kellogg閳ユ獨 Frosted Flakes back in the box."Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and



start toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 Days!!" About five minutes later,



another blonde walks in,Orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.



Finally, another blonde walks in with what looks like a



Cardboard picture. She puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and



starts cheering with the others, "51 days!



51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to



discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster Puzzle. He walks over to one of



the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you doing??" "Well," the blonde says,



"everyone thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of



this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!



A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a Diet. "I want you



to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2



weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."



When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.



"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"



The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead



that 3rd day."



"From hunger, you mean?"



"No, from skipping.



A blonde went to her mail box several times way before it was time for the



Mailman to make his rounds.



A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting



for a special delivery.



"No," she replied, "My computer keeps telling me I have



Mail."



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

Pretty good so I'll add another one...



Three women notice their boss leaving work two hours early each day. The brunette says "If she leaves work early, we should leave early" So the next day after the boss leaves the three women go home. The redhead gets some shopping done, the brunette gets her hair done and the blonde nervously heads home. When she was making her way up stairs she hears her bosses voice coming from the bedroom, she peeks around the corner and sees her boss in bed with her husband, she carefully tiptoes unseen out the door. The next day the boss leaves early again so the redhead and brunette get ready to leave right after her. They turn to the blonde, "Hey aren't you leaving early too?" The blonde says "Gosh, no way, I almost got caught!"



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

LOL



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

These are pretty funny!



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

wow LOL



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

I've heard a couple of those before but there's some pretty funny stuff there.



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

Ha, here have a star.



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

LOl?



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

thats good stuff



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

LMAO



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

These are hysterical, and I'm blonde!



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

Funny. 51 DAYS!!!!!!!!



star 4 u



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

heheh made me giggle



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

Those were pretty funny!!!! I give you a star.



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

A star for you, very funny



Funny blond jokes!!!!!!!! star if u think their funny!!!!!1?

lol ! Especially the TGIF one.

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