Is this normal or what?

"So what do you want to do honey?" Nancy asked. We were in her car. "I dont know." I said back. "How about target?" She asked. "No, I dont want to." I told her. "How about dairy queen?" She asked hopefully. "Sure." I replied. Nancy did her everyday-usually-hairpuff. She is constantly checking her hair in the car all the time. She is obsessed with looking good just like Im obsessed with getting sick. We have a lot in common. "So what do you think, honey?" She asked. "Its good." I complimented her. "That's good. She always took me out like once a week. We usually watch movies together, have coffee parties, go to her house and go shopping. I had known her for years. She was such a good friend to me! I looked up to her so much. "So how old are you?" I asked. "Im 56." She answered. "Wow, you only look like 40." I told her. She immediatley started laughing really hard. I smiled knowing that she loved me for saying that. That's what made it so funny. But she really does look young I think. Then we continued to drive. Once we arrived at dairy queen, we quickly hopped out of the car. We glanced at the menu and decided what we wanted to order. This lady named Crystal asked us what we wanted. "Hi guys, My name is Crystal. How may I help you?" She asked politley. " I will get a vanilla ice cream cone please." Nancy told her. Then she asked me what I wanted. "I will get a chocolate ice cream cone please." I ordered. I had learned my good manners from Nancy. She always helped straighten me out. I loved her like a mom and I admired her so much. Then Crystal gave us our cones after five minutes which seemed like forever. We quickly gobbled down our ice cream and wrapped it up. We threw our cones away and jumped into the car. We were on our way to Nancy's house. I loved her house so much. Then we started to hit the road. "So what have you been up to lately honey?" Nancy asked. I loved it when she called me honey. It made me feel special. That's when the questions began. "Not too much." I answered. "Yeah well not too much either sweets." Nancy said as she rummaged through her purse. I started to wonder what she was looking for. Then Nancy's phone rang. She dropped her purse and immediatley answered her urgent call waiting. " Hello." Nancy said. She winked at me. She always does that to me when she is on the phone. I could tell that she didn't want to keep me waiting. "Oh really?" She said all worried. She hung up the phone and started crying. I had never seen Nancy cry before. That's when I got alittle worried. "What's wrong?" I asked all concerned. "My aunt just died." She cried. I dropped my jaw in shock. "But how?" I thought. It was too bad to be true. I just sat there. I had no clue what to say. Afew moments later of awkward silence, Nancy started hugging me. "Oh Alyssa! I love you so much!" She said crying as she started hugging me. I hugged her back. I couldn't beleive what just happened. I was so shocked. Nancy was spending a lot of time on the phone and she was different. The next thing I knew, we were both crying together and cuddling. She let go of me and stared at me for a few seconds. I wondered what she was going to say. "Now you be a good girl." She warned. "I will." I said nodding. I completely understood how she felt at a time like this. This was the first time I had ever seen her in a crisis like this. I was worried about her. We got out of her car and walked into her house. We were having fun already. We always have a blast together. "Can I go visit the bird?" I asked. "Sure." Nancy said. I walked over to the birds cage. The birds name was Linday and it was a girl. It was an african grey parrot. "Hi Lindy!" I shreeked. Lindy started puffing up her feathers. Her pupils got really big. I could tell that the bird was alittle mad. It does that. I immediatley started to mess with the bird. I knew better than to be doing that!" I put my face up to the bird. i wanted to get a closer look at the bird because it was so cute. I just wanted to squeeze it so hard. Lindy started to bob her head up and down real fast. She was spitting out her sead all over the floor. Luckily, Nancy was near by when this happened. She knew how to stop Lindy when she is acting up. "No Lindy! You stop it!" Nancy scolded. The bird just froze up. I laughed. Lindy always acted goofy when people messed with her or scolded her. That is what made it funny. "Come on, honey." Nancy said as she motioned me to come over into the kitchen with her. "Can I just have five more minutes with Lindy?" I begged. "No. You have had enough of that bird. You spend time with me now." She demanded. "Alrite." I agreed. I walked over into the kitchen and sat down at the table with Nancy. We talked for a bit. I showed her my myspace. She thought it was really cool. I even showed her my moms! Then we ate some chocolate cake after being on her laptop. "Do you want some cake?" Nancy asked. "What kind is it?" I wondered. I hated cake with nuts. Nancy usually bakes that kind of cake. "Its chocolate." She answered. "Sure." I said back. She gave me some cake and set it on the kitchen table. The cake piece she gave me was so big. It even had a candle on it for decoration. "Thank you." I said smiling. "Your welcome, honey." Nancy said as she sat down at the table with me. I told her about the sand dunes that me and dylan go to like all the time. "Dylan and I went 4wheeling at the sand dunes." I told her. She was eating cake also. Nancy gave me a "Your so cute." look. I smiled. I knew that look. I was already getting full when i dreaded the last bite of cake to my mouth. I just stopped eating. Then Nancy noticed that I was finished. "Do you want some more cake, honey?" She asked. "No Im too full." I said sighing. "You eat like a bird. You need to fatten up and gain some weight." Nancy said. She was always telling me how skinny I was and how I need to gain weight. I hear that from everybody. "Okay well i better bring you home, honey." Nancy suggested. "Come on, five more minutes." I begged. "Alrite." Nancy finally caved in. I smiled knowing that I could prolly stay for another hour. I started to mess with the bird. I gave her a bath by spraying her with the spray bottle. At the end of the session, Lindy was soaked with water and dripping. I noticed that I overdone it. I stopped spraying the bird. Lindy was already drenched in water. I blowed on the bird to dry her off. She didn't like that. So I stopped. When she doesn't like something, she bobs her head up and down real fast. Then Nancy snapped her fingers and ordered me to come into the kitchen. "Alyssa Zuber!" She yelled. She did that because she knew it made me laugh. I just snapped back at her to mock her. "Okay, Im coming." I said. Her house was so big. It took forever to get from the birds cage to Nancy's kitchen. When i went to the table, she had some more cake that stood infront of me. The food nauseated me. "Oh come on." I said annoyed as I rolled my eyes. I was so full from the big piece she gave me earlier. She just put it back into the fridge. Then she walked over to the birds cage and she noticed there was a big mess all over the floor. It was the birds food that she was spitting out. Nancy had a shocked look on her face. I could tell she was about to snap. Just kidding. She was completely fine with it. She puffed her hair again trying to fix it up. There was a mirror on the birds cage that she could look into. One of her sides was really messy. It was really windy that day. So her hair didnt look too good. Nancy just rolled her eyes and stopped messing with her hair at a time like this. She shook her head at Lindy in dissapointment. Nancy bent down and started to clean up the bird food as she scrapped it up into her hands. I offered to help her with it. I am always willing to lend a hand when it comes to cleaning things up. I really didn't mind much. "Thanks, honey." She said. "Oh my back is killing me." Nancy groaned as she stood up. "Oh that sucks." I said feeling so bad for her. "Im really hot and my back is aching really bad. I think I better go lie down." Nancy suggested as she walked over to the couch and layed down. She was reading a newspaper about a boy who was murdered in Duluth. She always liked to read sad stories like that. Her favorite thing to do was read. Time went on. It went by way too fast. I was having so much fun already. It was already 7:00. I knew Nancy would be asking me to leave soon. We talked for about 20 minutes. Then we started to get ready to hit the road. "Im going to bring you home, honey." Nancy said. "Five more minutes?" I asked hopefully. I hoped with all of my heart she would cave in one more time and let me stay just alittle bit longer. "Well you can't stay here forever. I got to bring you home sometime." She told me. We got ready. "Bye Lindy." I said. I was hoping for her to say goodbye back. But there was nothing. "Oh well." I told myself. "Maybe next time." I thought. I was going to miss Lindy! I loved that bird! She was so cute! I really didnt want to leave Nancy's house. It was so fun. We always had fun together. It was such a bummer knowing that I had to leave after all of the fun we had. I put on my shoes and I went out to her car. She hopped in also and it was a long drive. The car drive lasted almost 20 minutes. We arrived at my house and I had to say goodbye to Nancy. "Alrite bye honey. I love you" Nancy said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "See ya. I love you too." I said as I left her car and walked into my house. I knew that Nancy and I were going to be the bestest friends forever. I loved her to death!!!

Is this normal or what?

Is the answer 5?

Is this normal or what?

that's way too long

Is this normal or what?

did I miss the punch line?

Is this normal or what?

This one - at band camp ...

Is this normal or what?

WTF ??????????

Is this normal or what?

oh come on milk it for all its worth

Is this normal or what?

that was way too long............................WTF