Sometimes when **** happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a ****. Here are some **** definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family...
Ghost ****
You know you've ****. There's **** on the toilet paper, but no **** in the bowl.
Teflon Coated ****
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of **** on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
Gooey ****
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your *** 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This **** leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought ****
You're all done wiping your *** and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead ****
This kind is the kind of **** that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly ****
You **** so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now ****
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
King Kong or Commode Choker ****
This **** is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of **** usually happens at someone else's house.
Wet Cheeks ****
This **** hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your *** wet.
Wish ****
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no ****!
Cement Block or Oh God ****
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you ****.
Snake ****
This **** is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork **** (Also Known as Floater ****)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This **** usually happens at someone else's house.
Mexican Food **** (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.
Beer Drunk ****
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your **** doesn't smell too bad, but this **** is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of **** also usually happens at someone else's house.
The Frightened Turtle
The kind of **** that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in
The Bungee ****
The kind of **** that just hangs off your *** before it falls into the water.
The Ring of Fire ****
The kind of **** where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
The Crippler
The kind of **** where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.
The Big Bobber
The kind of **** that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of **** that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Incredible Hulk ****
The king of **** that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.
The Jack the Ripper ****
The kind of **** that yanks out the hair of your *** as it pushes its way out.
The Party Pooper
The giant **** you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
The Toxic Gas ****
The kind of **** that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.
Dirty Bowl ****
The kind of **** that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
The Windy City ****
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a ****.
Oh ****! ****
You **** so much and wipe your *** so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!
The Never Ending ****
It's the **** that keeps running out of your *** like pea, and just when you start wiping your *** your stomach gargles and splash, more **** runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Ouch That Hurt ****
The type of **** that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.
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THATS GREAT ME N MY MATES R NOT ALONE PLEASED TO MEET U..............WE DISCUSS OUR TYPES OF**** DAILY..........
FAMILY **** LITTLE BALLS THAT BOB!!
GLASS ****THAT HURTS ON THE WAY OUT!! IM REALLY CHUCKLING NOW!!! PENDULUM ****JUST HANGING ON!!
I LOVE UR DEDICATION TO THE VARIED ****WEVE ALL HAD, R THERE OTHERS WHO TELL THE TRUTH?
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lol
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i relly think something is wrong with u
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lol made me laugh
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WOW CANT BELIEVE U WROTE THAT................but it is halarious
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lol
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funny.....lol........and true......lol
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funny
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You just won the longest question ever.You Creep
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